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Well, Welcome to the new craze that has swept the WORLD by storm.  It seems like you can't go anywhere without hearing about this new online social network that goes by the name, "Twitter."  Now, I am not going to be a hypocrite and say anything bad about Twitter, because we here at TGLR use Twitter fairly often!  But the fact of the matter is that there is a current Twitter craze that has truly taken the world by storm.  Facebook, MySpace, and any other social network really can't compete with Twitter right now.  It seems as though more and more people are hearing about it each day and are making accounts the site!  So what does this mean for the future?  Who knows, but let's explore what could happen!!!

You know that Twitter has taken over when Jim Jones gets arrested for an old parking ticket, and is updating all his fans during the whole situation.  At 9:20 P.M., Jim Jones wrote on his twitter the following, ""Just got pulled over by the boys. Of all days I decide to drive by myself ... let's see how this plays out."  He followed up that "TWEET" with another message stating, "Well, it didn't go the way I wanted," he updated. "I'm in the precinct, but I will have my phone, they ain't trippin'. They said just procedure."  His last post about the whole parking fiasco was, "Misssses officer let me go, the funny part was watching them have to count all the money in my pocket," He then stated right after, "I must say they were very cool."  But wait... the Twitter madness does not end right there!!!  He then gave some very valuable advice to all his fans around the world, "Make sure u pay old tickets."  Good advice Jimmy!!!

Jim Jones does not seem to be the only celebrity taking advantage of the new online program.  Many other famous people have started to use it, and it has definitely shown to be beneficial for musicians and other famous people to connect with their fans.  While these famous people are connecting with their fans by letting them know every single thing they are doing, they are also allowing more people to get their creep on and stalk the living crap out of them!  Now I am not saying that everyone should delete their Twitters because people are stalking, but the fact of the matter is that if you are famous (unlike this blog), then you are liable to some crazy person out there stalking you!

Jim Jones is not the only person to use Twitter, there are many others out there who have been using Twitter.  There have ben reports stating that the infamous John Mayer and his "Ex-Girlfriend" Jennifer Anniston broke up due to Twitter.  Well not because Twitter was invented, but because Mr. Mayor was spending too much time on Twitter, and not enough time with Jennifer.  Funny how that works out... If I was dating someone who was fairly attractive like Jennifer Anniston, Twitter would for sure be coming last on my list of important things to do!  And while Twitter truly is such a great device, it is funny to see how people really are just using it because THEY HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO... I mean by golly, do I truly care was Matt Jones is doing every second of the day!? (*NOTE: I do not know if Matt Jones is a real person, sort of just made it up, so any Matt Jones' out there, don't take offense!*)  I mean the fact of the matter is, and I really hate to say this, but if you are just an average joe, no one truly cares about your mundane life!!!  I am sorry I had to say that!  I mean it is useful to celebrities and to News Outlet sources, to Radio Stations, to anything that is used by the common person!  Twitter is not something for people who live boring lives!  I mean, come on, that is why you have Facebook, and MySpace... Use the note app on Facebook to rant and rage over your life and how boring it is!

Another thing that I found hilarious is the countless job firings that have occurred due to the use of Twitter.  When I say "the use of Twitter" I am not talking about people tweeting during work, these firings have come because of certain things people have said on Twitter.  I mean one guy out there got fired from his job because he posted the following up on his Twitter account, "Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work."  I mean, what has this world come to!!! You are going to fire someone because they Tweeted that on Twitter!  WOW!!!  I mean this whole Twitter thing has really gotten out of control!  People losing jobs, people breaking up, people talking about getting pulled over and having to pay a ticket from a long time ago!!!   I mean, the fact of the matter is that people should not have their lives ruined by some online site!!! Too bad that unlike on the site, there is no "Disaster recovery procedures" to help rebuild what they once had!

So to end this beautiful Twitter, I will give some advise to all who are reading this and have a Twitter account.
  1. Be Careful What You Put Up On Twitter... You Never Know Who Might Be Reading It (i.e. YOUR BOSS)
  2. There Are Always Creepers Out There... Be Sure That None Of Them Start Stalking You VIA TWITTER
  3. If You Live  A Boring Life, Don't Expect That People Are Going To Be Wanting To Follow You On Twitter!!!
  4. If You Are A Stalker... STOP STALKING PEOPLE ON TWITTER... That's What MySpace Is For.
  5. Last But Not Least, Be Sure To Update Your Twitter On A Regular Basis, BECAUSE THE WHOLE WORLD TRULY CARES WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO THE BATHROOM, WHEN YOU ARE EATING, WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING, WHEN YOU DECIDE TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT... ETC.
And This Concludes My Twitter Post... HAVE A NICE DAY!

Twouble With Twitters - Hilarious Depiction of Twitter:

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1 comments

ICECrush said... @ April 15, 2009 at 1:38 PM

Wow. BRILLIANT article and funny little toon at the end!

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